Books
Annotated Bibliography by the Author
Psicoterapia para el mal de amores (2024)
Psychotherapy for Heartbreak (2024). In Spanish
Tirso de Molina once said that “because it is made of fire, love tends to burn out.” For this reason, Bolinches believes that, in these early decades of the 21st century—marked by widespread individual freedoms—our society has yet to find a way to harmonize personal sexual freedom with the social construct of a stable couple.
The author’s thesis is that there is a dissonance between the needs of the “sexual self” and the stability needs of the “social self”, which has led to a profound crisis in romantic relationships. This book seeks to help address that crisis by offering a psychotherapeutic approach aimed at transforming emotional suffering into a vital learning experience—one that fosters the emergence of harmonious love.
Mis mejores pensamientos (2023)
My best thoughts. In Spanish.
This was the first book I ever wrote, an attempt to organize everything I knew at the time about self-help and personal development. But most of that knowledge wasn’t originally mine—it came from those I considered, and still consider, the great masters of psychology and key inspirations behind my methodology: Freud, Adler, Rogers, Frankl, and Berne.
1000 citas que invitan a pensar (2022)
100 Quotes to Make You Think. In Spanish
Without a doubt, this is my most brilliant book—precisely because it’s not built on my own intelligence, but on far greater ones. My only merit lies in applying a principle from dynamic psychology: “no one knows more than all of us together.” This book simply brings readers a curated collection of the best aphorisms and reflections from those who truly know. Anyone who reads it will not only be enriched by these powerful thoughts, but will also find ideas to help solve many of life’s everyday problems. As Saint John of the Cross once said: “seek by reading, and you will find by meditating.”
Tus 4 poderes (2021)
You have 4 powers. In Spanish and Catalan.
This book was conceived as a continuation, expansion, and deepening of The Secret of Self-Esteem. It presents a program for inner growth based on four psychological strengths that we all possess and can develop: intelligence, attitude, willpower, and kindness. If you’re interested in becoming the main agent in solving your own problems, these four powers will help you achieve that goal.
La síndrome de las supermujeres (2019)
The Superwoman Syndrome. In Spanish and Catalan.
Superwomen face the opposite problem of Peter Pan men. While the latter lack self-esteem and don’t feel lovable, superwomen often find that their personal excellence negatively impacts their romantic expectations—because many men would rather be admired than be the ones doing the admiring. To ensure that the men and women of the future can continue to experience harmonious love, I decided to write this book. It’s dedicated to the many superwomen who shared their experiences regarding this emerging issue, and whose valuable insights helped me define and describe the syndrome.
El secreto de la autoestima (2015)
The Secret of Self-esteem. Available in Spanish.
This may be the book in which I share the most useful and innovative ideas, as it introduces a new concept of self-esteem and a fresh theory of personal security that is both easy to understand and apply. Readers will not only discover the root causes of their insecurities, but also find a self-help method with the power to transform emotional suffering into a vital learning experience that promotes personal growth and maturity.
Tú y yo somos seis (2011)
You and I are Six
This is my most profound book, but also the least practical. That’s why it is better suited to philosophy enthusiasts than to self-help readers. Nevertheless, because it allows readers to analyze themselves and uncover their own defense mechanisms, everyone is likely to find insights that prove useful in their personal journey.
Out of print in both Catalan and Spanish. (A practical version of its core ideas can be found in the book You Have 4 Powers.)
Peter Pan puede crecer (2010)
Peter Pan can grow up. Available in Spanish and Portuguese.
One of the most frequent issues I’ve encountered as a therapist is that of men suffering from Peter Pan Syndrome. Peter Pan is a beloved fictional character who never truly existed, yet his profile perfectly describes emotionally immature men who refuse to grow up. However, my theory is that most of them don’t grow up not because they don’t want to, but because they don’t know how. In this book, I offer them a self-help program based on Vital Therapy that helps overcome emotional deficiencies from the past by learning to use psychological tools that foster personal development.
Los colores de la vida (2009)
The colours of life
I’ve always been fond of aphorisms, and one of my favorite pastimes has been collecting quotes and reflections by others that struck me as especially brilliant—often using them as inspiration to craft my own wordplays. The result of this intellectual exercise is what eventually led me to compile enough material to write this anthology of original aphorisms, which, as the book’s back cover says, conveys “thoughts filled with feeling.”
Amor al segundo intento (2006)
Love the Second Time Around. Available in Spanish.
This is a deep and extensive work dedicated to the complex world of long-term relationships. Fortunately, the positive reception it received made the effort worthwhile. I know that reading this book has helped some couples separate, others reconcile, and a few simply tolerate each other better. As I wrote in one of my reflections on the subject: “When love leaves you, you find yourself—and once you find yourself, love no longer leaves you.” In line with that idea, this book helps transform past romantic suffering into a life lesson that can pave the way for more successful relationships in the future.
Sexo sabio (2001)
Wise Sex. Available in Spanish.
I wrote this book with limited practical experience but a solid theoretical foundation on the subject. Despite that, Wise Sex was very well received and led to both a radio show and a television program. Since then, I became publicly associated with the topic of sexuality—although my later books have gradually shifted my public image to be more connected with The Secret of Self-Esteem than with the secrets of sex.
El arte de enamorar (1998)
The art of falling in love. Published in Spanish, Portuguese, Japanese, and Korean.
Updated version: The New Art of Falling in Love (2028, in Spanish)
When I was young, I used to tell my girlfriends that one day I would write a book to help men learn how to win someone’s heart. That youthful dream at twenty eventually became, at fifty, one of my most valued and widely translated works. I suppose it’s because the idea that the art of falling in love is the art of becoming better is timeless and universal—relevant to every era and every culture.
La felicidad personal (1995)
Personal Happiness. Available in Spanish and Portuguese.
This is the book in which I systematized everything I had done to regain happiness during a time in my life when I had lost it. Looking back, I believe it’s the one that says the most in the fewest pages. Its greatest strength lies in presenting a model of happiness based on self-analysis and personal growth—one that is both easy to understand and apply. Perhaps that’s why it has been so well received by self-help readers.
El cambio psicológico(1988)
Psychological change. Available in Spanish.
This was the first book I ever wrote—an attempt to organize everything I knew at the time about self-help and personal development. Most of that knowledge, however, was not originally mine, but rather what I had learned from those I considered—and still consider today—the key inspirations behind my methodology and great masters of psychology: Freud, Adler, Rogers, Frankl, and Berne.
Out of print in Catalan.
